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  • In your absence, I had started idly planning our first major journey together.
    Borobodur, the vast Buddhist temple of Indonesia. Magelang.
    Six giant concentric platforms, lined with thousands of relief panels, miles worth, and hundreds of statues.
    I looked at surrounding hotels
    started to make calculations, vague pricing, checking availability and busy seasons and festivals

    Then I had a revelation about want:
    At the end of these platforms, the center of this long concentric path, there is a room and it is empty.
    The endpoint of the journey is a barren chamber.
    Whether or not it was always so is unknown, whether it once contained more statuary or treasure
    Now it exists as an empty room, someplace where
    Instead of being awed by wealth or by artisanship
    It's a place where you project what you want, what you are on blank walls.
    Like all places.

    Something about learning of Borobodur made me know I had to stop wanting you.
    So I have.
    I haven't stopped loving you; I will always be glad for you to be near.
    I will relish each moment as I have always done with you
    But I have stopped wanting
    And now simply am.

    Image from Flickr user gloria_euyoque
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