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  • I was 16 and thought I had found the one. Isn't that what we always think? I was head over heels and so was he. We had been like that for some time but it had been a week since he plucked up the courage and asked me out.

    We were in one of my very close friends' birthday party. There were a small number of people, just very close friends. At one point we found ourselves alone in the living room. My head was resting on his lap and we were chatting softly, each sentence following easy, long silences. I was wearing an orange top and jeans, he something beige... My hair was straightened for the occasion and i remember laying it on his lap carefully so it wouldn't get tangled...The tv was humming in the background... I was just so happy, not excited, not thrilled.. I was simply very happy and relaxed, thought I was where I belonged. Then out of nowhere, rather hesitantly, he kissed me. It was just a peck but i felt like the world tilted for a second.

    Over the course of years I had many kisses. But what made me feel like I crossed some boundary was my first kiss with the "real" one :) I was unresolved and was not sure if I wanted a relationship, although the pull was more powerful than gravity. I was fooling myself, thinking I could spend time with him without getting myself into a mess, which is what I thought all relationships tend to turn into sooner or later. We were at a beach, me in my black bikini and him in some ludicrous blue and red shorts, in a small bay overlooking the Aegean Sea. Having just swam, my long hair was outrageously big and I did not care. I did not have a single drop of make up and I did not care. I barely knew this guy I was with, all alone, kilometers away from civilization and for all I knew he could just murder me there and I did not care. There were no one but us and we were lying under corn plants near an abandoned traditional stone house. Out in the distance I could see waves crashing on rocks sticking out of the shimmery blue. I just knew at a certain moment that there was no point in running... He started dropping small kisses on my cheeks, shoulders and arms while chatting. Then the point came when my mind started shouting "come on will you just kiss me properly!" and I guess he heard me :) I remember the salt, the smell of the sea and seagrass, the orange color behing my eyelids as I closed my eyes against the sun, his smell, a delicious mix of Caldion and sunkissed salty skin, and his full lips. I remember revelling in the moment, not wanting it to end, ever! The feeling of completion was so overwhelming, so different than whatever kiss i might have had over the years that, with all due respect to the ghost of boyfriends past, it kinda overruled them all...
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