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  • It’s strange how a place that once felt foreign and odd can one day feel like home.

    I think I was about seven months into the relationship when I started to look for apartments that would be closer to where he lived. We were older, a middle-aged couple, both getting back into dating, and, although we would sometimes talk about living together, the when and where of our living arrangements was never securely pinned down. So I decided the best thing would be to find a place closer to him, to make the commute a bit less tedious.

    I knew I would need to get out of my house anyway, as I felt the bottom falling out from my mortgage, with payment issues, and the potential foreclosure always looming near. I became caught up in the search for a new living space, someplace less worrisome and cumbersome (it seemed that house got larger and larger in my mind every time I thought about having to clean and organize it and as time went on, I just felt less and less inclined to even think about tackling those tasks.)

    Throughout the next couple of weeks, I looked at several nice places, met some interesting people, and shared my daily discoveries with him. Perhaps I got too caught up in my search, so much so that I was totally thrown off when he arrived at my house one day and told me he was unhappy, had been for some time, and then just left.
    I felt suddenly directionless, like a boat after a storm, listing precariously, going nowhere. I sat down and had a good cry. The search was over; nothing to search for, no reason to search.

    Then I remembered something my best friend from my old home town said after the breakup of my last marriage. “You need a break. Come out here and visit.”

    Seven months later I was packing up a moving van, starting a new job, starting a new life, coming back closer to where I had lived, moving out of the house that hung around my neck for so long. Moving into a new place, where I’ve been for two years..

    It’s strange how a place that once felt foreign and odd can one day feel like home.
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