Roughly half of my patients are Young women between 35 and 45 years old, smart, attractive ladies, who know what they want. They are Mexicans, Argentinean, Brazilian, Us – American or German. They are biologists, singers, teachers or agronomists. They have hung out in the bars in town and have had passionate love affairs. Now they are sick and tired of that. They want a relationship, a partner, and children.
As soon as they tell the man they are with what they want, the man runs.
I am amazed at how many wonderful young women are lonely. They come and cry with me. They are strong and suddenly they murmur words like.” If I do not find this man this year, I do not want to live anymore!”
I am shocked when I listen to that and I notice that they are equally shocked hearing such words emerging from their feminist mouths.
When one such sad woman leaves another one enters my practice. She who enters belongs to roughly the other half of my female patients. She is married, has often married to escape the hell at home just to end up in a new and very similar one. She cries because she has a man, because she wants to be alone and free and he does not let her go or she is too afraid to just do what she wants to do.
I remember the desperation of being in an unhappy relationship and wanting out as well as the one of feeling utterly lonely from back when I was young. Back then in Germany there was this saying that once and again could raise my spirits during those times, because it made me smile. I share this with my patients:
A WOMAN NEEDS A MAN AS A FISH NEEDS A BICYCLE
Women smile when they hear this, men usually do not really know if to smile or to protest.
Maybe my male COWBIRD colleges here feel that same conflict right now. Calm down!
I do not mean to say that men are not important. I am married to one since 35 years.
Still: you do not need a man or a woman to be happy, even though your hormones and your heart may suggest that at certain moments. It is an illusion. Everything you need to be happy right now is inside yourself.
To remember that a fish does not need a bicycle relaxes the heart, you smile and maybe just then someone will fall in love with that smile!
Art by Kiki
Kiki en TELEMUNDO