He would go outside with his pack of cigarettes and lighter, he never smoke indoors out of respect for me and our children. I would watch him take a cigarette out and place it in his mouth and light it. I am still looking at him when he takes that first drag and how his eyes would close when he inhales that first take.
He would sometimes watch the smoke slowly disappear in the cool breeze around him or he would look at the cigarette in his hand. When he is within his element, he relaxes; a lean against the wall, or a squat down to the floor like today, he squats to the floor – just him and his moment of peace with his cigarette. When he is done, he doesn’t throw it out over someone else yard, he makes sure it’s out and with all the natural ease he would drop into a small pottery pot next to him. I would sit there sometimes and watch him smoke, he smiles when he catches my eye on him, something so natural for him can be so sexy to me.