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  • "We need to massively trim these yews. The snow weight in winter will damage these limbs..."

    - Yes, true. In the last ice storm they...

    "And these fruit trees. They need a big pruning next year, and dormant oil in the fall. We'll get them producing more fruit at a reachable height......."

    - Yes! I have wanted to do that...the apples and pears...

    "Holy cow! These currants! You ARE making jam with these, aren't you?"

    - No, not yet, I ...

    "Well here's what you do: two cups of fruit to one icecream. Frickin' orgasmic!"

    Oh my, I am starting to feel woozy...

    "And OK, this poison ivy everywhere? I know you don't subscribe to this, but my vote is to nuke the son-of-a-bitch with Round-Up. Seriously? This stuff will put you in the hospital again! We need to get rid of it. You cannot argue with me on this."

    - No. I mean yes, YES! What else? What else do you think should we do? (Tell me to drink the Round-Up, I just might consider it...)

    "Well, you've got so much here. I think I should just start working away at it, bit by bit, at a reasonable hourly rate so you won't go broke, but so we can really make some progress, right? This really is a beautiful place. God. You need help and I want to do it. I like it feels so...good."

    God help me, I think I might faint.

    My Superman has arrived! His name is John and he cannot fly through the sky. He walks purposefully on the ground and wields a chain saw.

    Photo: "Superman Saves Bell" by DanOhhDesign
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