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  • He said “I couldn't stop thinking about you since the day we met”. I looked out of the car’s window to my apartment. Its windows were shining like diamonds to me; so bright, so attractive. I said “Really?” quite weakly. He tried to catch my eyes with his, “Really”. I tried to remain calm but it reminded itself again. It was so stupid of me to drink that much water, plus wine, plus coffee… Oh my god, it was such a torture!

    He was talking to me; I caught the last part “…I’d really like to spend more time with you, would like to know you more.” I looked out of the window again, tried to count how many glasses I drank. I immediately had one big glass of water just before ordering, then a glass of wine, then another glass of water, again a glass of wine, followed by a coffee? Hmm... Was there anything else in between? I thought out loud, “I don’t know…” He looked so disappointed and put both his hands on the steering wheel, as if he was trying to control the direction of this conversation. He signed and looked far away.

    I fidgeted restlessly. I couldn't put my head together at all. I thought, until I reach the gate of the building, I should keep calm and try not to run. I could use this precious time to find my keys in my bag gracefully and as soon as I enter the building I could start running. Should I take the stairs or the lift? The idea of climbing two floors’ stairs seemed so painful, I silently wished for the lift to be on the ground floor waiting.

    “What are you thinking about?”; he claimed an answer or some attention at least. I looked into his eyes, panic mixed with desperation, I babbled something like “I should go…” He looked at me speechless. He could never guess what was going on in my mind. After I got out of the car, I looked back to see his face, probably for the last time.

    Photo by Pina
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