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  • It hits me again, this … emptiness.

    So this is what it feels like I note as I look into his eyes searching mine – an incredulous look on his face.

    It feels as if there’s a black hole in the room, sucking up every bit of respect I might have had.

    The sound in the room is muted disgustingly to my ears – I can barely hear myself explaining – all I can do is feel myself shrink and run inside my body taking cover from my own shame.

    His eyes show images of a wounded heart.
    His fists clenched deep, his breathing getting heavier.

    The final outburst of insults fire from his lips, hitting me harder with every second passing.

    Too many to truly hear – I begin arguing with myself instead.

    Harlot! Betrayer! How could you do this to him I scream angrily.

    But nothing happened! It was wrong and I stopped it from happening! I yell, begging to forgive myself.

    A moment of weakness is a moment too late!

    I never told him, I’d been meaning to…

    Was it all in a desperate attempt to keep him? Or am I as poisonous as everybody else, a betrayer. Selfish and Pernicious! I’ve never been too fond of myself – But until now I’ve never really hated myself at this level, a deadly seed rapaciously growing within me until I explode.

    Not a Tear Flees from my eyes – he says I’m evil. Says I don’t care – I do care, wait – Do I? What have I become?

    He leaves the room now crying. I stand up slowly and silently stare into my eyes through the mirror gate.

    I am alone again. I am, what does that mean?
    What am I? Lost in time I see my dead eyes return.

    One by one the shadows emerge around me smiling – Welcoming me as if I were lost family, seven around me – within me, holding me close.

    I tried to be better, but alas It was too little.
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