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  • That feeling you get when the person you were going to marry leaves you the week of your wedding. fast forward One month later :

    Girl #1 : You see that she will do anything for you, but you still treat her like shit! why? because of the hurt you felt, you feel as if you must hurt others the way you've hurt. You use her for money and beauty products. ( lotion, soap, facial cleanser) usually this woman is called the rebound girlfriend. in A matter of weeks she has fallen in love with you, in a matter of days your already looking for girls # 2:

    Girl # 2-8: you begin to feel like a male slut even though you are not having sex with these individuals. you've been on three dates with new individuals all in the same day , all at the same park. the joggers at the park are shaking their head in disgust because of how many times they've seen you in one day. you begin to feel confident but all the while comparing these people to the fiancé you lost. Girl #7 you find you cant play games with and you tell her the whole truth about your breakup. its funny when you find the right person at the wrong time.
    Girl # 8 helps you to realize you have limits. You find that you are unable to play mind games with mothers. women who have children. I went on a date with #8 and her son to the park. I tried to picture myself as a father figure to this young man. then I realize this is way to much to soon. so I just stop calling even though she was perfect.
    Girl #9 A firm believer in God & wants a man with the same principles and beliefs. During the time she read my profile on specific dating site, I was A firm believer also. Days before meeting her I began to feel as if God has abandoned me. I perused her anyway knowing I was changing. two weeks later were having sex. 2 days after that she wants me to come to her church and to also meet her parents. she pressured me everyday to do this. I did not want to meet her father because I knew I WAS FULL OF SHIT! usually I leave work early just to let her in my apartment. she waits for me to get off at 11 pm. I spend about two hours one my front porch after I get off work talking to other women, then I go inside and have sex with the church girl. I cant help but think that God is going to punish me for being dishonest with one of his people. One day I told her, if she feels like she is compromising her beliefs by being with me, she needs to walk away. all the while knowing my intentions was in direct conflict with her belief. And I should be walking away.

    Girl #1 (again) at this point we agreed to be friends, but she treat it like were dating. turns out she takes various depression pills and goes back and forth all day like a new york city subway train. she will say fuck off one minute then beg to see me the next. I forgot to mention that one week after knowing me she gave me the keys to her apartment. I ask her to borrow over 1500.00 dollars in two weeks of knowing her because I knew she would give it to me. All the while i treat her like shit because i'm hurting still from my breakup with my fiance.

    girl #10 at this point i'm getting pretty discouraged because I cant find the one for me. And as bad and as abusive the relationship was with my ex ( yes she abused me mentally and physically), I still wanted her back. girl #10 I met once and because she was so positive, I stepped back. I spoke to her daily while at work. her energy was amazing . I cant describe it other than to say it was like two opposing magnets close to each other. this woman actually helped me to heal somewhat from the breakup with my ex. the one and only time I actually saw her, I asked her to get as close to me without actually kissing me. she thought I was a complete weirdo but she complied. I didn't even want to kiss her. I just wanted to take in her energy. I knew though that I would never date her, but I pretended that she had a chance. things went ok up until my days off from work. I literally disappeared and after a couple weeks she caught on that I was only comfortable speaking to her over the phone. I just wanted to spend my days off with friends. she stated that If I'd rather spend time with friends, then im not ready for a real relationship. we agreed to be friends, but it turns out, im not a good friend either.

    Girl #11 messaged me on a dating site stating that she likes nerds. my reply back to her consisted of my phone number and a smile. I did not think she was going to call, but she did. For some reason I was extremely happy when I spoke to her and got caught up in the false feeling that I was healed. This woman made me laugh, smile, stop drinking every night and motivated me to do better. she asked me one day " do I feel uncomfortable being with a woman who makes significantly more than me?" I said not at all. then I made the mistake that made me feel like shit until this day : "how much do you make a year?" she stated "$150,000 a year". instantly I said to myself, "what the fuck can I offer this woman when I make only 35,000 a year." she stated that she just wants to be loved, thats all. its funny that prior to finding out how much she made I was into her, after finding this out, I felt discouraged. she has taken me on trips, 5 star restaurants, and every weekend I spend the whole weekend in her 8 bedroom house, with a four car garage and pool ?
    I will say this woman has given me the best sex I ever had. And she is willing to pay for me to finish school.
    We spent a little over a month together and today I start to think about my ex- fiancé again. WTF.

    before you judge me, consider this: I was about to be someone's husband this past March. then I was thrown into the world of dating again, while the whole time feeling mentally like I should be married. feeling hurt because I wasn't. crying every night longing for the companionship I once had. comparing these new women Im meeting to the one I lost. Not giving myself enough time to heal from my breakup. My ex abused me mentally and physically. broke up with me over a hundred times during our 8 year relationship. made me feel like i wasn't even a man, but a bitch!!! not a woman, I felt like a bitch! theres a big difference between the two!!!!!!
    broken, confused, lost, moved to a whole new state leaving everything you knew to be with her. now single. feeling suicidal what would you do if you lost a finace the week of your wedding??? what would your aftermath be ?????? I became a Dog overnight, a wolf in two weeks.
    30 girls later and I still feel lost!
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