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  • Windsurfing seemed like such a sexy sport. So I was willing to give it a try just to impress my new boyfriend who was quite the sailor. Of course he would teach me and of course I would wear my best bikini and be great at it. I was only 19, so my ability to both fantasize and over-sell my abilities were quite sharp. And so, my bateau beau and I set out with the windsurfer, leaving his (inappropriately inebriated) friends to man the sailboat.

    We playfully pushed our surfboard out towards the middle. We then hopped up and the lesson began. First, pull up the sail. No! Not like that! Like this. Then lean back. Not that far back. Point your sail into the wind.

    After many failed attempts, I was tired and frustrated. The sail was waterlogged and quite heavy, the breeze was non-existent. I was left to balance on the board with another person, holding a heavy sail and trying not to tip over. It wasn't long before the beau suggested that I might be happier on the boat. That was code for he'd rather windsurf by himself. I sulked and slipped into the water, swimming back to the boat and hopefully some of whatever mind-altering medications the friends could provide.

    But the boat wasn't anchored and I wasn't a good swimmer. I soon found myself in the middle of what was, in essence, the speed boat highway. The fast boats zoomed around me as I started to panic. The boat was drifting further away and the beau was surfing even further in the other direction.

    I bobbed up and down, incredulous, halfway between two sets of people who really didn't care and in physical danger if I remained paralyzed. What to choose? I remained paralyzed, allowing some other force, something I couldn't be held responsible for, to make the decision for me. And so, after some time, the friends came sailing past. They managed to pull me up somehow and I collapsed on the deck, exhausted. I never knew I could tread water that long.

    No, that's not true. I've been treading water my whole life. It's what you do when you are indecisive. You go through the motions of running while managing to stay in the same place just to keep you head above water. Hoping a magical sailboat will swing by and haul you into safety.
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