Forgot your password?

We just sent you an email, containing instructions for how to reset your password.

Sign in

  • These last few days you've been really hard to handle in certain moments. You ripped off my bandage on my chest just before your nap today. You tipped my fresh, full bowl of yogurt, granola and fruit flat upside down on the carpet. You arch your back and wheeze when you are frustrated. You're only 8 months. I thought I had at least until 18 months before this toddler-type behavior started. You're ahead of your time.

    I'm so nervous I'm going to fuck things up for you.

    When we reach one of these rough moments I'm aware that you are looking at me intently. You are absorbing everything. I try to keep my energy clear and focused on how deeply and completely I love you. I try to let my anger or frustration stay directed at the event, or the behavior and not the person (you).

    Still, it's inevitable.

    You will absorb something poisonous. And your baby brain will make up meaning about it, like "everyone who loves me will eventually leave me." That was the meaning my baby brain made up many years ago about who-knows-what mundane thing that happened.

    I think the trick is not to avoid fucking up your kid though ... it's to be sure to stick around long enough to help untangle all of it down the road. I can do that.
    • Share

    Connected stories:


Collections let you gather your favorite stories into shareable groups.

To collect stories, please become a Citizen.

    Copy and paste this embed code into your web page:

    px wide
    px tall
    Send this story to a friend:
    Would you like to send another?

      To retell stories, please .

        Sprouting stories lets you respond with a story of your own — like telling stories ’round a campfire.

        To sprout stories, please .

            Better browser, please.

            To view Cowbird, please use the latest version of Chrome, Safari, Firefox, Opera, or Internet Explorer.