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  • Hey! Watch it! Ow! That fucking hurt.

    No point telling them.


    No point telling them. They just put us down.

    Put us down? You don't mean.......?

    No, No..... I mean they just arrange us.

    Ahh. And you are?

    Same as you. A paving stone. The one to your Gkob.

    “Gkob”? What the hell is that?

    OK. You need some lessons. You are lucky. I can teach you.
    Do you want to learn?

    Don't know. I do not even know what I am, where I am or why I am.

    Up to you. I should point out that we are going to be here for some time.
    Conversation makes the decades pass as if they were only nine years each.
    Sorry. Paving stone joke.

    Go on then. Tell me what I need to know.

    Right. Good choice. Glad to have you aboard. You stick with me...
    Sorry, couldn't resist it. You are not going anywhere soon are you?

    As you well know, I cannot move. Couldn't back in the cliff either.
    Not a problem. This movement thing is overrated if you ask me.
    So, tell me, how is it that we can talk?

    Look, don't walk before you can run, OK? Or is it the other way around?
    “?KO ,nur nac ouy erofeb klaw t'nod”. Nahhh, seems unlikely.
    We can talk because we have an edge in common.

    An edge?

    An edge. As long as we have an adjacent edge then we can talk.

    But I have three other edges. All touching other paving stones.
    Why are they not talking to me?

    Well. That'll be me. I told them to be quite.

    You mean “quiet”?

    I do. I do. Even I get confused talking to stones.
    Hah! Got you there! You cannot possibly share an edge with the three other stones
    that share an edge with me. Therefore, by your own admission, you could not have “told”
    them anything.

    Ahhh... See? That was nearly thirteen seconds. I can see that time is going to whiz by
    talking to you.


    Well, as must be obvious to you by now, I did not talk to them directly. I spoke through
    stones that I have an edge with, that have an edge with another stone that has an edge with you.
    I can talk to any stone simply by passing on my chat via the edges of other stones.

    Hmmm... OK. I'll give you that. Makes me feel edgy though.

    No! No... Look; You've blown our best joke. Only one-third down page two. What a waste.

    Don't care. Come on then; What does “Gkob” mean? Thought I'd forgotten didn't you?

    “Gkob”? Oh, yes, gkob. Well, see, that is the direction from which you hear your first talking stone.
    That is called “Gkob”. So, I am the stone to your gkob.

    *** sigh *** OK. I get the gist. So any other direction is dictated by the order in which other stones talk to me?

    You got it! Good system eh? Took us ages and innumerable paved areas before we came up with that. Direction is always a problem. We don't know in what orientation we are going to be put down from one place to the next. So, we thought long and hard and - Viola!



    You meant; “Voilà!”, but you said “Viola!”. That is a musical instrument. Doesn't even have the accented “a”.

    Oh. Sorry. Didn't know you were a francophile.

    I'm not! Haven't filed a franc in years. OK... months.

    Look. If you take my advice – and you should – I'm going where the weather suits my clothes.
    Sailing on a summer breeze and skipping over the ocean like a … like a. Uhmm... Forget now.

    You mean, like, as the fear grows – the bad blood slows and turns to ?? Damn! Nope - it's gone.
    Oh! Right. Here it is; Something about being dragged down by the wossname – isn't it?

    Animals, eh? “Dogs”. That's the name of the track. Big one for us stones – is that. “stone” has more mentions in that song than any other song ever written. In fact, a Floyd fan actually counted the number of times that “stone” is mentioned in that song.


    Yep. He did.

    What was the result?

    Well, obviously, he had to be sectioned under The Mental Health Act didn't he?

    No. No! How many times?

    Just the once, apparently. Then you're pretty much in the loony bin for ages.
    They only let you go when you can demonstrate that you never really liked Floyd in the first place - not even when they were good.


    Oh. For sure, really. Mental Hospitals are just full of people trying not to see the colour “pink”.
    That is the main reason that they do not allow two-year-old girls anywhere near those establishments. Pink all over them. Whatever surface they have is inevitably covered by a piece of cloth/wool/Lycra or whatever, coloured in pink. They would have a riot right there.

    But – Hey! Pink is not even a colour – is it?

    Heh, heh. Exactly. Try telling them that.
    So you've noticed have you?

    Noticed what?

    Well, we can say “stone”. We can say that all day. I have done on many occasions. However, we can never sing it.


    Never. Bit ironic given this “singing stone” nonsense, don't you think?
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