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  • Marriage is based on the ideas of complete love and harmony with another, but I’ve found in nearly three years of marriage that there’s not always love and harmony in my house. In fact, there are days where love and harmony are nowhere to be found. I’m fairly young in my marriage, but I’ve already experienced the hardships that come along with the vows. It’s certainly not easy, and there are days where my wife and I have to give it all we have just to keep moving forward. Luckily, those days are few and far between.
    I once became so exasperated with my wife during a lengthy fight that I stopped the screaming and stated calmly: “You’re argumentative. You don’t apologize when you’re wrong. You don’t listen to anything I have to say. You’re everything I never wanted in a woman.” Later, upon thinking about that statement, I easily could have added: “And I’m not sure what I would do without you.” At the time, I was too angry to give her that benefit of the doubt.
    My wife and I have completely conflicting personalities, but that seems to be what brings us together at the end of the day. I remember the toughest time in our marriage to date was the first couple weeks after returning from our honeymoon in the Bahamas. The wedding planning was over. The gooey vows and dedications had been said. Our 15-minute spotlight of being the couple that was the center of attention was long passed. The romantic week in the Caribbean was nothing but a memory. Now, it was just us – and real life.
    We fought like cats and dogs for weeks. The only time we got along was when we were away from each other and at work. Maybe it was the pressure of the actual marriage setting in. Maybe since we didn’t have a wedding to worry about anymore, we decided to dedicate our extra time to screaming at each other. Regardless, I can tell you this: I despised my wife for the first month of our marriage.
    Is this common? I’m not sure, and I couldn’t care less. It was a phase, and eventually passed. I can’t tell you how many people told us during our wedding that “the first year will be the hardest.” That was bullshit. The first month was the hardest, and let me tell you, it was hell. We still have our tough days, but I’m pretty sure that’s with any marriage. The theory of marriage may be based on love and harmony, but it’s supported by patience, understanding and modesty.
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