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  • One day some familiars decided that I should have an iron to pass clothes.

    I was not interested in an iron to work more and more in housekeeping, and didn't go to the store to buy one, but merciful souls thought I needed it. As it would be a gift, I accepted it in good mood.

    The person who went back to the store to chose the iron for me took some money more with someone else to go through the cash. She got the ticket as comprovation for guarantee. There was happening a promotion and each R$ 30,00 spent would give the buyer another ticket to participate of a raffle with much better prizes than iron.

    Then, the kick in my heart happened.

    The woman who brought the iron and passed through the cash gave the guarantee note to me, and decided to give the raffle ticket to the person who gave her the money for the iron - despite the giver didn't need to be luckier in life. Both tickets came together, but were separated to be given each ticket to different persons, with a deliberation to do so.

    So I felt bad. The one who did it didn't care if she was doing it with me looking. An only ticket for a raffle, given for someone who got many others in the same shopping time - of course because the latter could spend much more money than I.

    I'm needing good luck a lot, and felt it as an insensitive message. That iron passed through my throat and "unexplainably" I felt bad in the street and cried in a sudden choke - what an irony! I felt someone's clear gesture meant that the words from who tells me I deserve more are not trustful. I have just what I give. Moreover, somehow my luck seems to be cheap to afford for now and must be kept so for everybody feels happy. I must be happy and fulfilled by someone else's wishes for me, in spite it was decided by others. Mainly, I don't need an only little chance more for the moment.

    I don't feel like pretending to be overstrung, but words and gestures should be one, and many times I fail in balancing them as well. I know my weird sense of gentleness and feel sometimes it can adjust well to the expectations of others. I need to adapt myself, and learn from observation of one's priorities and attitutes. Can't anybody realize that ironing clothes is not my goal in life?

    I just keep in mind what I heard some days ago: " Charity is when someone gives a bread to a hungry person. Tenderness is when the bread goes with a jam". Couldn't my gift be just perfect, in its smallness, a frank wish of a little more good for me?

    (Drawing by Muriloooooooo - Gartic at Google Stock)
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