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  • I haven't really had much inspiration to write lately. Been trying to occupy my life so tightly that I won't have time to even think about being unhappy. Until I get home ofcourse and fall onto my bed, all the emotions in the world seem to rush back. But I try my best to pay no mind.

    One quiet night after a long day I fall into my bed in an empty apartment and grab for my laptop and browsed around, I opened of my webcam and accidentally pressed the button to take a snapshot with my palm while I reached forward for my phone. As my laptop goes notify that a picture will be taken after 3 beeps, I looked at the screen sitting on my lap and CLICK, instantly this picture was taken. I stopped to look at myself...and for some reason the girl on the screen looked unfamiliar to me.

    I realized... I've been trying to run myself out of energy so I don't have to think. So I don't have to feel. That when I finally stop to take a look at myself, I've became a different person. The tired eyes, and dark circles from the sleepless nights that I have to struggle through everyday when I come home. But sometimes the only option you have is just to deal. At the end of the day even when you can't you just have to. Just have to deal. You just have to lay down, and close your eyes and fight with yourself, to get yourself to sleep, and to wake up the next morning and find just enough motivation to push through a productive day. Then to return home to start all over again. Maybe being tired is a good thing. It shows that although you are weak, you are human. It shows that although you are losing strength, you are still pushing through.
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