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  • I was at work this very very hot morning, landscaping away, digging holes, pulling weeds, up to my elbows in mulch. I stand up to wipe sweat out of my eyes and see that down the street is a white truck and a guy in a uniform is leaning out the side and I think YES! ICE CREAM MAN! I am so getting an ice cream! I don't care if it's before lunch, I DESERVE an ice cream. Damn, it is hot. And look, there's a few bucks in my pocket even, so this is perfect.

    So I run across the yard, my head swimming with memories of chocolate dip cones I loved as a kid and how the chocolate crunched under my tongue, and I hope to God he has that and not those stupid Pikachu Pops that turned my kids mouths blue and I get there and the man turns to look at me, that sweet Mr. Softee Savior, and his kind and gentle cow eyes say, "Can I help you?"

    And then I have to say, "uh, never mind," to the Fedex Man.
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