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  • My firstborn was a little premature too.
    My water broke at some point while I was out shopping for a cot, but it was so little I didn't realise what had happened. So I just waited a couple of days for my regular appointment at the doctor's. When I got there and he checked me, he rushed me to the operating room for a C-section saying "We must hurry in order to get to the baby while it's still alive". Those were his "comforting" words while he was operating too: "Let's hope she's alive", he kept saying. He had a huge argument with the anesthesiologist too cause he started cutting me open while I could feel pretty much everything and I screamed for him to stop.

    After the C-section was over and as soon as I knew my baby was ok, my blood pressure reached 19 and they took me to intensive care. My body had to cope with the stress he'd been subjecting me to, somehow.

    No one has the right to behave like that. Not even if they fear the worst, if they know the worst, if the want to protect you from the worst.

    I had to visit my baby twice a day in neonatal intensive care unit and wait in line to ask the doctor how she was doing. A couple was always before me in line; a very young couple, a very handsome boy and a beautiful foreign girl. They never asked the doctor anything. They just walked into the doctor's office and let him do the talking. I stood right outside and the door was always kept wide open so everyone could hear what was being said. It was no big secret either. Their baby had been born at 25 weeks. It was a miracle she was even still alive.
    The day I met them, the doctor had just told them "I have no news for you guys. If her lungs work she'll make it. But you know that already". They just walked out hand in hand. Neither of them cried. Neither of them spoke to the other. What was there to say?

    I went to my baby's incubator and picked her up (I could do that thank God) and held her as tight as I could. I had hardly had the time to get to know my baby but I already loved her more than words can say. Babies remind us of the little god in us that can create life. They are little angels of life. No one has the right to crash that thought in us by reminding that they are also very much mortal.
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