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  • ...and the art of solitude:

    We humans are an interesting lot. We accept as reality those ideas which are only binary digital and chemical recordings of phenomena that may, or may not actually occur outside our constructs (bodies).

    The process of photography renders this an obvious fact. There is quite a difference between taking, and making a picture, or recorded image. The colors and gradations are entirely a product of our individual perception, and have little to do with what is occurring outside in the 'real' world, with light waves, and their reactions on the composition of elements of the matter they strike, then reflected or refracted from, to be received and interpreted by our eyes and our brains.

    These colors do not actually exist, they are only an arrangement of binary electrical, and chemical bits of information stored, and organized within our brains. An interpretation of the actual radiation of light waves in the physical world outside ourselves. We are quite isolated from anything that actually exists, and so are isolated from each other in much the same ways.

    My relationship with the woman I loved the most; my wife, Cheryl was no exception to this condition of isolate perception. I sensed connections that never, and never could have existed or occurred.

    We lived meagerly, not in any kind of poverty, but we were by no means wealthy, and one of the niceties we generally lived without, was air-conditioning. It was just out of our price range if we wanted to keep up with the more important expenditures that keep a small family fed, healthy, and somewhat happy. We found ways to make do.

    On hot summer nights, when it became difficult to sleep, we slept naked. I reveled in the sensory aspects of the sweaty parts of our bodies, where they made contact as we slept like 'spoons'. I imagined the salty nature of the sweat to be a conduit that would conduct the love I felt for her, transferring it into her awareness, like an electricity through the saline and highly conductive nature of the fluid between us.

    This I am sorry to say, was not the case. In reality, it was just more of the binary digital, electrical and chemical records and processes in my brain, like the colors. In reality, I was completely isolated from her inner self, and utterly alone. We 'take' sensory information in, and what we 'make' of it, I like to think is love.

    This is the reality/perception rift that keeps us individually alone.

    The photograph above is a self portrait.
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