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  • Somehow I’ve lost the feeling part of me. The tears started at the end of a silly TV show - Haven - the song played was “Your Song”  It’s always been music that reaches inside to embrace me and remind me that it’s safe to cry. Tears aren’t even about sadness really. They are my connection to living. At first, I didn't even realize I was crying. Feeling my eyes well up and the tears run down my cheeks was like permission to let go. I was engulfed by a sadness I couldn't explain, totally out of proportion to what the storyline brought up.

    When did it become so important to be above my own emotions? When did it become a noble goal? Why did I think that showing everyone that I was beyond being hurt by those who meant to hurt me would stop the hurt?  Lately, I'm finding it difficult to write because there is nothing to write from, not even anger because I am too sensible to be angry. At some point, I confused healing with the lack of feeling. There’s no place inside whole enough to hold sorrow, disappointment, anger and betrayal. I sweep it away like the dust, dirt and clutter from the garage. Do I believe that by not acknowledging the soft pink heartaches that hide in my tender places, I can make them disappear?

    Image Flickr Creative Commons
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