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  • I always find myself wishing that the wilderness could come to me. That I could close my eyes, focus on that desire, and when I opened them, I would be sitting next to a lake or a creek in the middle of an old forest.
    That, of course, does not happen. Maybe if you want to get into the power of the human mind and imagination, but I mean physically.
    There are days when one just needs to sit and listen to the sounds of undamaged earth, breathe fresh air.
    More and more I find myself needing this. Needing to be completely enveloped in nature.
    One of my friends was lovely enough to invite me up North to spend the night at her house. We would go to the river the next day. End of planning. There was no "What're we gonna do when we get there?" or anything of that sort, Which I was extremely grateful for.
    When we arrived, we put on sunblock and each grabbed a beer and went to our own little spaces of our spot, and we were silent.
    People do not often understand the value of silence. Of being able to sit, without interruption, with your own thoughts. To be able to prowl around the recesses of your own mind and to get to know yourself. This scares many, many a person. They're not happy with themselves, and they hide from their own consciousness through music or TV or getting wasted or whatever else they can come up with.
    But my friend is luckily not one of those people. And this rare personality trait and self-comfort allowed me to experience something beautiful.
    I've attempted meditation on multiple occasions. Not very regularly, granted, but that's besides the point. I'd only successfully meditated once at the time of the day at the river.
    The comfortable and much welcome silence of conversation and the never ceasing flow of the river and the chirping of birds and the breeze and the sun on my skin inspired me to try for a second time.
    It took me a while to make my mind focus on...well, everything around me. The air on my skin and how it came in contact with me and then, via every other air molecule, put me in contact with literally everything else. Every human, every animal, every plant, ever organism on this earth. And then to allow myself to open up my core and let it blend with everything else that there was...
    Well, that takes quite a bit of effort.
    But I actually managed it, and the feeling was indescribable.
    It made something click inside of me that I had needed to happen, that I needed to experience.
    It triggered the change. The weird feeling that I've been having as of late. That kindling in your belly that tells you something is about to come along and change your life, your every day from whenever it happens on.
    It's quite exciting, quite terrifying, quite a relief.
    But all the same, something I needed to feel.
    Something I needed to recognize.
    And I'm ever so glad that I did.
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