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  • I've been living in a different city for a while now. And to be honest, at the beginning I hated every minute of it. It was a place that I have been coming to twice a year, every year, to visit my relatives - every since I can remember. But now it's different - oh so different. It was only a vacation spot: some lost small city where I’d go spend my 2 week vacation and that was all. But now it feels a little bit suffocating cause I know I’m stuck here, at least for now.
    Like I said, in the first months I hated every minute of it – I hated everything and everyone and their weird way of speaking and their slow way of doing stuff and their different taste in things - and the list goes on and on. I remember I had to go to school, and getting home was the best part of my day. As soon as I got home, I would get online, to talk to my friends – who I believed were the only ones I could ever have, even with all the distance separating us - and try to catch up to the things I was missing, and above all, try to still feel as I belonged to that place I still called home.
    It did work for a while, but not for too long. I had to go back to my new reality no mattered how much I wanted to stay. Soon I realized that the part of me that wanted so bad to go back was doing more damage than anything else.
    It hurt, but I let go of it eventually. I don't hate this place anymore. I learned to put up with it, but not exactly love it - at least not yet. That doesn't mean I forgot my past and the place I belong, or that love it any less. But it also doesn't mean I want to be here.
    I came to the conclusion that I'll have to spend a quite long time here, so I’m gonna have to get used to it at some point. It might not be so bad after all, who knows? I opened my mind a little bit to all of this new world I’m living on, and if in the middle of this transition I can still be myself and not lose my true essence, I think I’ll be okay.

    ~~~~

     "Can't break free until I let it go"

    -Lithium (Evanescence)
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