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  • One day soon the Gillette company will announce the
    development of a razor that, thanks to a computer
    microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave
    beard hairs that don’t even exist yet.

    Dave Barry


    1. It is Saturday. I need to copy my new DMV Registration.

    2. But I can't find it.

    3. I look in all the obvious files and binders under "D."

    4. No new DMV Registration. Anywhere.

    5. Change schedule for the day to include Auto Club, for a duplicate.

    6. As last resort, look in stack of "To Be Filed" papers.

    7. Success!

    8. Now I need to make a copy to carry in vehicle.

    9. But HP Printer won't let me copy until I install a new Cyan cartridge.

    10. But I just want BLACK. I do not need a color copy.

    11. HP Printer could care less. I am forced to install a new Cyan cartridge I don't need.

    12. Cannot find new Cyan cartridge. I may have run out.

    13. Cancel trip to Auto Club, substitute trip to Staples for more HP Printer cartridges.

    14. Find Cyan cartridge in In Box. Cancel trip to Staples.

    15. While opening new Cyan cartridge package, cut finger on razor sharp plastic.

    16. Bleeding profusely. Search for Band-Aid. No Band-Aids. Wrap finger in cloth strip.

    17. Change schedule, Cancel Staples. Substitute trip to CVS to restock on Band-Aids.

    18. Change blood-soaked cloth strip on finger and install new Cyan cartridge.

    19. HP Printer refuses to acknowledge installation of new Cyan cartridge. Won't print.

    20. Install another Cyan cartridge, now blood stained. HP Printer accepts second cartridge.

    21. Print copy current DMV Registration.

    22. Amber light on HP Printer which has been blinking for a week is off. Printer is happy.

    23. DMV Registration safely installed in vehicle.

    24. Still bleeding and feeling exhausted.

    25. Was going to write something, but cannot even think.

    26. Chimes on dryer go off.

    27. Telephone rings. Cell phone text message harp alert sounds.

    28. Trash pickup rings doorbell, needs gate open.

    29. Power goes out.

    30. Sudden peace. Write this in pencil on real paper, transcribe when power back on. Sleep.

    (Photograph by Alex in the 3-D virtual world of Second Life)
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