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  • I never cared much for vampires. I know the disciples of Bram Stoker somehow intruded themselves into the Hollywood circle and convinced the head honchos there that what the viewing world unquestionably needed was a steady barrage of suck-blood films, especially in color.

    What those cinematic fools did not, and still do not, realize is who really gives a crap about these living-dead bloodhounds who roam the world seeking makeshift transfusions-to-go! And how dumb really, how incredibly stupid to expect sane minds to suspend reality even for a bit over an hour while these creatures, long in the tooth, go tear-assing through nighttime fields and dark city streets, hunting for red nectar.

    I for one find it appalling. I even wrote complaint letters to the studio heads who crank out this vampiric drek, but not one of those rolling-in-blood-money producers ever responded.

    Why should they when millions of the Stokered beg for more of the same: films that celebrate life eradicated in a heartbeat by unkempt creatures that go “Grrrrr” in the night.

    As I see it, from where I stand in the shadows of those same nights, it’s a question of “something’s rotten in dark Denmark,” an inequity that desperately needs to be addressed…and damn soon.

    Now some will make no bones about calling my gripes nothing short of sour grapes, a wearing of the green of jealousy because, while vampires are heralded as horror favorites with their nasty blood-letting habits, their stereotypical Count Draculas in black tux, we creatures are cast aside without so much as a “Your day will come.”

    What bothers me most, and I swear it has nothing to do with me personally, is the cold insensitivity directed at Lon Chaney who first showed the world the plight of us werewolves on the giant screen. That consummate actor never got a fraction of the kudos he deserved.


    “Stokered” is a short-short story in Buttaci’s flash collection 200 Shorts, published by All Things That Matter Press and available at in book and e-book editions at
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