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  • I long to... able to love everyone, even those who frighten me or those souls I cannot understand.

    ...sit in the seat of a flower and have it tell me the story of how the trees and the flowers came to be. and laugh with children who love to dance and laugh until we all fall down.

    ...walk through the mountains with my brother in Montana and breathe the fresh, sweet air of the clouds.

    ...know my tribe and visit with them in real life each week over tea and cake.

    ...have a bright yellow house with a garden out back and a dog that ambles about and rests in the shade while I cook.

    ...write more than one book in my lifetime.

    ...hold my new niece and give her the baby blanket I'm currently knitting and trying to finish for her!

    ...see my Mom reach her true potential and find happiness.

    ...see all women reach their true potential and find happiness.

    ...taste a fresh tomato right off the vine in Italy, my homeland.

    ...feel confident enough to continue sharing my dances with the world, wherever the dances may take me. more actively in the present and in my dream world at the same time. {I think that is maybe impossible, though.}

    ...have a dream where I am flying, high and light, very, very soon.

    ...listen to what other people long for and help them find it.

    ...always, always be in a journey.

    Longing is a form of desire. I have told myself that longing is whimsy and there isn't a place for it in my life. I have longed for something while turning my gaze in the other direction to proceed in a way I thought, at the time, was right. I have felt longing wash over me on a cellular level and grown wide with it only to shrink back into a smaller version of myself.

    No more.

    I will long lovingly and freely. I will accept that "...your life's purpose moves through you in the form of your desires...", as my teacher told me. And I will accept that this desire will never be fulfilled. It's in the desiring that I will empty so I can fill up again.

    And I will long for you to long, too. To know the dance of your deepest desires and to embrace them as you would a child.

    "No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."

    ~Martha Graham
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