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  • I am anti-social. I don’t mean to be. I’ve stopped denying the obvious - me and people just don’t get along. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love people. I think they are great. But I also keep my distance.

    I marvel at my friend’s use of their cell phones. It is difficult to hold a decent conversation with them because their bloody smart phone is buzzing them every 5 minutes. I have an old cell phone with a cracked screen. It still works though, except no one calls me. I really don’t have much use for it.

    The weird thing is that in my little town, I am something of a minor celebrity. Yep. My photo is in the local newspaper at least twice a year. The newspaper publisher also tapped me to be in a commercial that has aired on TV, on Internet sites and in movie theaters. Yet, I am the poorest famous person I know. Yep, weird.

    I don’t hang out. Too old for that. The club scene is boring and bars are so “Been there, done that”. I was hanging in taprooms when I was 5 years old. My Aunt Sug (as in sugar) would take me with her on her jaunts. I would sit in a quiet booth with my Coca-Cola and potato chips while she and her friends drank at the bar. I loved the cool air conditioning and the juke box and the smell of spirits. Those days are over for me now.

    Church is unappealing to me too. I see more devilment going in church than I see the bars. Married women would hit on me, flirt with me or act improperly around me. Partly its due to my lascivious nature. I love women. I like how they walk, how they talk, how they sit, how they eat... Hell, I like just about everything about them. And I really appreciate the beauty of a woman. But I am also shy. Women would show me a little extra thigh or allowed me to peer down their blouse, while coyly touching my arm and laughing at my jokes. But when the flirting got serious, “My husband’s away on a business trip, stop by.” - I retreated.

    So I am a loner, a lone wolf, an outsider, a solo act destined to be single for the rest of my days. That’s cool. I can deal with it.

    But, what I don’t get is all this new fangled social networking stuff. Yeah, I am on Facebook, but I use it as a marketing tool. Most of the time I act as a junior journalist presenting interesting news to my 300 plus “friends”. This is the paradoxical world of the internet. I have a multitude of friends AND I am alone. Yep, weird.

    Now that you have read my story, I feel obligated to read one of yours. This Cowbird society of writers is a new sensation for me. I’ll try to be more sociable. Just give me a little time. Please forgive my smugness. I am not aloof, just scared.
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