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  • On my way out the door to work this morning, I was balancing many things in my arms and on top of the mound rested an apple for lunch. With full arms and apple on top, I shut the door. As the door shut, my arm was jarred and the apple fell off my heap and then, one step at a time, down the stairs and then down some more; down the driveway it rolled. I quickly put the rest of my things inside my car and headed after my apple. It was still rolling, fast by now, down the street that my driveway connects to. I had not deduced the increase of forward moving momentum of my Fuji in motion and in direct relation, the urgency of retrieving my apple.

    When I woke up this morning, I didn't think I would be chasing an apple down the street. Staring down the storm drain I surmised it rolled into, I could not find my apple. I looked around, in the grass, in the bushes, No Apple. I pinched myself to the surreality of the situation. I even questioned myself, thinking, "I did really have any apple in my hands this morning, right? I did just chase it down the street?" My emotional quantum entanglement for this apple could not be measured because the other half of the superimposition no longer existed. It was there a second ago, I'm not crazy, but now it's gone.

    I left the scene feeling as though I had just entered an invisible, supernatural Rube Goldberg machine. On and off, I thought about this apple all day. I have other things to think about, I know. Yadda yadda, retirement plans, make the dental appointment, blah, but my impulsivity kept throwing me off kilter. The apple. Was I on the brink of catastrophe or prosperity? What kinetic cosmic lever just got flipped? I kept waiting, impatiently waiting, for something to happen, nothing happened, nothing really happened different from any other day.

    And then I left the whole matter with a only more questions to tug at a bustling peripatetics hem, like, who am I to demand meaning from a universe of skipping comets, instructed waters, and inching inch worms? Is cause purpose or truth? Did Newton eat his apple? I'll bet he did. Better yet, it's all been said, Voltaire should make me an apple pie!

    I did stop and get a brownie and a ginger ale at a deli to fill the hole the absence of my apple left in my stomach. As I broke tiny bits of the chocolate and placed the crumbs in my mouth, I thought maybe the apple wasn't for me in the first place; my perspective and demand for immediacy was narrow and arrogant. Maybe the apple was for an animal, or a seed to find its way out of the storm drain and take root; to rot and provide nutrients for another plant. A plant that would host life. Or maybe, just maybe, I over think just about everything.

    I watched an older woman park her car from my table on the sidewalk as I slowly nibbled my brownie, She popped the trunk and went around the back and lifted the walker out of the trunk. She brought the walker to the passenger side of the car, opened the door, and assisted a very elderly woman to an upright, walking position. The two women, the younger holding the oldest under her arm, slowly, with hunched backs and gentle concern, walked into the deli. They weren't inside for very long and left the deli empty handed. Did they not find anything on the menu they liked? Slowly, carefully they crossed the street together, back to the car and drove away as if they had all the time in the world, while I counted the seconds until the next lever gets triggered by a dropping sphere.


    Although there was no media coverage, I report the Apple Rolling Fiasco of '12 was indeed a factual event.
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