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  • Put on high heels and traipse around. Take a shower and shave legs. Mudpack, definitely. Practice one opera aria until hoarse. Go outside and pet the cat for 1/2 hour. Call 3 friends with hoarse voice and talk about having a show in NY and SF and Seattle with them. Check Priceline for cheap tix to Argentina. Book flight. Leave for 2 weeks with $200 in pocket. Call in sick. Meet a crazy old boyfriend who never happened and spend a week in the jungle playing Scrabble with him. Stop eating until you weigh 125. Then eat. Give time to the senior center and feel better about being so “young.” Study Cabalists and wear things that refer to Shechinah, the Divine Feminine. Pluck eyebrows but try not to go too far. Write a 15 page poem after Neruda then book self at the coffee shop. Make a splash. Create altar to Freddie King. Play only blues records for one whole day. Rip up all the clothes you don’t want to put on anymore. Meditate to Chet Baker. Multitask. Fix the bumper. Run every morning for 30 minutes without fail. Lift weights. Don’t give in. Book a social event every night. Or don’t. Get a movie for every night and watch while drinking really good wine. Cry. Grieve. Mourn. Sing the mournful aria. Sing Fiona Apple. Sing Freddie King. Go to Costa Rica with friends. Snorkel unmitigatedly. Snorkel till you peel. Give a lot of attention to your friend who got a hip replacement. Get right in her hospital bed with her, where you belong. Make dinner for your ex-father-in-law. Cry. Throw self into business. Buy some real estate on no money down. Start thinking about what you want and don’t flinch. Write it down then sing it rubato. Go dancing even if you feel so lonely your knees buckle. Call the kids and don’t get them all upset with your depressing life. Depend on your friends without too much shame. Don’t drink too much coffee. If you start to panic, go outside and walk around, paying particular attention to ravens. Channel Marlon Brando and exercise his kind of field. Walk down the street in high heels, swaying, pretending you are in Havana. Orange lipstick, definitely. Say one hundred times: I am fabulous. I am fabulous. Try other things: I am interesting. Or: I am not washed up. Yes, that works. I am good. Read self help books only until nausea blinds you. Give in.
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