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  • All at once, I break my silence.
    All at once, there's no more hiding.

    - All At Once by Pete Yorn

    Some days I open my mouth and nothing comes out.

    Other days I smile, shake some hands and dance my way through time and space.

    What makes the difference of a day? I have no idea.

    How can I tell what kind of day it's going to be?

    I can't until I open my mouth and see what comes out.

    I know that my days are numbered, as are everyones. I know that some day I won't take another breath, see another sunrise or gaze up into the cloudy sky.

    Still, I take things day by day. I watch my moods and feelings as they arise dependent on whatever surrounds me.

    Sometimes that means I don't rise before noon. Other times it means I'm up before I even hear the birds begin their morning song.

    Neither is good nor bad. No choice is better than the other. It just is as it is in the same way that life was as it was for this bug when I found it upside down on the sidewalk.

    This is the lesson I struggle with the most. I want to label, score and give value to the different days I wonder through. Yet, I can feel the larger power pushing me through every day. I feel it calling out to me from the sun and sky. I feel it put my hand to paper, trying to teach me just to keep going on, day by day no matter the situation or the outcome.

    This is when I learn to surrender to whatever is, instead of pushing for whatever I want. This is when I have rainy day discoveries that prod me into remembering what it really means to live.

    Remembering to live just to live.

    For that I am thankful.
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