In an ancient burlesque house the curtain rises.
A trio of aging, idiotic vaudevillians takes the stage.
They begin performing - tumbling, pratfalls, acrobatics.
One grabs his balls and throws up.
The other two produce knives and begin an intricate passing routine around their ball-juggling comrade.
Suddenly a pair of elderly but muscular clowns with big red noses and
Hideous smiles storm on stage accompanied by 2 chimps
3 seals and a dancing bear.
Stunned by the stampede the buffoons drop everything!
But they drop stylishly and with lots of flair!
In rapid, well choreographed movements each clown grabs a knife from the floor and
Working with the chimps they behead the jugglers
Passing each dripping, still grinning noggin to the seals
Who toss them from one to another as the chimps
Sodomize two of the headless corpses while the bear
Dances a sort of fox-trot with third as the clowns
Produce kazoos and strike up a moving rendition of
"Nearer my God to Thee".
The crowd goes wild.
The house lights come up and an announcer says
"Ladies & Gentlemen - The Aristocrats!"