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  • I went swimming for the first time this year. It was scary and nobody understands why. I don't like to swim where I can't see the bottom. Some people would say it's because when I was a little kid I stepped on a crab and it pinched my foot, but they're wrong.

    When I was a little kid stepping on a crab was the scariest possible thing and I'd already done that and survived, so there was nothing else to be afraid of.

    Nothing at all.

    Now I'm an adult. I've been out in the world. I've seen horror movies.

    Now I don't like to swim where I can't see the bottom because what if there's bear traps under the sand? What if I put my foot down into a slimy dead body tethered to the lake bed under a cargo net so the fish can pick the bones clean? What if there's a portal to hell, hidden in the sandy murkiness?

    I worry that I worry about these things and I worry that I'm the only one worrying about these things.

    Then I go find a big stick and poke around before I swim.

    Just in case.
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