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  • As Venus transited this week, I felt the cosmic struggle within my body, I felt the energy of control struggle with the flow and feeling of the feminine
    energy. Spiritualists talk of a re-balancing phase set forth on earth and within our bodies; a re-balancing of energies taking place. The old energy of control has to give way to flow, to opening the heart. There will be moments of struggle but eventual balance is inevitable.

    To surrender completely to the flow of heart energy within us and around us is to be naked in your complete vulnerability. To feel unbounded, to melt into and with everything and everyone around. The sweet fragility of being, feeling and giving your pure self as you are, no pretensions, is surely very powerful, the freedom it brings. As individuals, we find this freedom in “safe havens” of loving and nurturing relationships. Now we are being energetically pointed to the need to build our societies around this energy. Apparently this feminine energy on the planet has been long ignored and caged and its time has finally come! But this unlocking and unleashing is a period of turmoil for many.
    In this ancient land, the feminine energy is celebrated as Shakti-a powerful Goddess. Often she is angry. I wonder why this portrayal? Is it because she has been caged for so long that finally she had to show all that she is, suddenly her vulnerability transformed into strength? This Land also celebrates the Goddess as the bringer of Wealth and yet sees females as a burden. Dowry is still taken. This very land also has missing girls- because of sex selective abortions, ( and that too in the richer parts of the country) to ensure male supremacy. Poverty is Female. In some rich states there are not even enough women to marry the men, so they buy wives from different parts of the country-the poor parts. But then some kill couples that decide to elope together because their castes, religion or regional origins don’t match. A land of dichotomies, which seem to need each other, to define one another.
    Uma, was named after the Goddess. She worked as a domestic maidservant in five households in suburban Delhi. She didn’t feel like the Goddess she was named after. She has two sons. She is from South India, but working in the North. She was married to her maternal uncle-not her own but a cousin of her mother’s. He was much younger than her mother. He cleaned cars and worked some other jobs. But his biggest problem was that he drank away his money and he started to beat Uma. He wanted her to stop working. But then he didn’t give her enough money to run the household. She took care of herself and her sons by working. But as he began to drink daily the beatings became a daily ritual. Uma complained to her in-laws. Her mother-in-law told her to stop bothering her son and making him angry. Then Uma left her husband and went back to her home in the South.

    Eventually, her parents convinced her to return back to her husband. They did not want her to leave her husband and bring shame on the family. She came back to Delhi. Things were fine for a while. But then again her husband started beating her. In between, her father passed away, she felt completely lost. One day, she was especially distraught; I had told her many times to call the police if there seemed no hope. She had never taken that step. When her husband started hitting their kids, that’s when Uma turned into a Goddess. She called the police. Her husband was threatened and he stopped. She left him. She went back to her mother. This time she was not rejected by her. A year later, I saw Uma in Delhi again. She told me she was well, she had got a good job in a shop and she was raising her kids and living with her mother. She had come back after her husband and his family begged her to return back to help them. She said she is taking them all back home, down South. Her husband had stopped drinking but now her mother-in-law had a major accident and could not walk. She was going to take care of them. She said, after all, they are her family.

    That was the last time I heard from Uma-the Goddess in action, her heart energy clear and open, taking complete responsibility but being filled with so much love to forgive those who had really hurt her, again and again. Never giving up on them or herself. It was an honour to cross paths with this lady. And yet, on the streets, you would pass her by- a working class woman on her way. Really a Goddess in a brilliant disguise. And I wonder about all the women, who are like her and I pray to the Shakti within them. Suddenly the flood gates open, and they are all transformed into a pure heart energy-this is not just a gentle lovey-dovey energy but its no-nonsense kind of gentle. It’s a courageous protective gentleness which is greatly admirable.

    (Uma's story is based on my interactions with her over a period of three years)

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