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  • That’s always the very first thing people ask.
    “But how will you have children?”
    It takes an explanation every time.
    “So, which of you will carry?”
    They look at you with sad eyes, even though they’re usually smiling.
    “So, will you adopt?”
    I get the distinct feeling that most about-to-be married or recently married straight people don't deal with these kinds of questions:
    “Can you get it up? Will you raise gay kids? Are you barren?”
    Besides, as far as I know, I’m not barren. And neither is my wife.
    “Why make your life harder?”
    They don’t ask these as much anymore, but you can tell they still think them.
    “So, which of you is the man?”
    Neither of us is the man. Isn’t that kind of the point?
    “How will it be when he doesn’t have a dad?”
    It’s not everyone. Not most people. Not by a long stretch. But it does happen more often than you’d think.
    “So who will you use?”
    I don’t know. We just got married. Less than a year ago.
    “A friend?”
    Well, that poses some complications.
    “A sperm bank?”
    Well, that poses others.
    “Well, what do you want me to say?”
    Congratulations. Yes, congratulations would be a good start.

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