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  • The waiting room was full of people who were about to undergo a “minor” surgical procedure. Usually, this type of day-surgery is for diagnostic purposes and everyone had that unmistakable look of concern, approaching fear, in their eyes.

    What happens if they don’t wake up from this simple “minor” surgery? Or even worse, what if the procedure reveals something that will kill them, like cancer? What if?

    The couple over in the corner had been here before.

    He casually asked, “Do you want me to go back with you?”

    She said, “No need. Just sit here and watch the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee parade on CNN”

    “I couldn’t care less about that old lady. Didn’t we fight the Revolutionary War to get away from those people?”

    “Come on honey. Keep your voice down. Some of these nice people enjoy this type of news. You’re just worried about me. That’s all.”

    “I’m not worried about you,” he lied. “You’re as tough as nails. And still pretty as a picture. A damn sight prettier than any of the Royal Family. What do they feed those people to make them so homely?”

    The singsong voice of a young woman, attired in a very hip, very stylish, blue scrubs ensemble, is heard above the crowd, “Mrs. Mabry. You ready to come back honey?”

    “Have you completed all of the papers sweetie? Let’s see. Looks like you’ve signed the do not resuscitate waiver, we have a living will on file, the blood transfusion approval, the doctor will be held harmless waiver and the HIPAA form. You’ve listed all of the drugs that you’re allergic to, you’ve signed the approval to allow students and some medical and pharmaceutical salesmen to watch the procedure and of course you’ve initialed your personal guarantee for payment should your insurance refuse to pay. Looks like you’re ready to go.”

    “Are you sure you angels of mercy haven’t forgotten something else she needs to sign?”

    “I’ll be fine Artie. Get some work done while they’re probing and poking me!”

    Looking around the waiting room, he couldn’t help but wonder why everyone in there was so damn old. “I didn’t think we were this old, but we must be,” he thought. “Here we are waiting with a bunch of old people.”

    A passing thought occurred to him as the Dyson vacuum cleaner commercial appeared on the big screen: Why do the parts seem to always wear out after the warranty expires?
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