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  • This is my six year-old daughter. In her mouth is the orange she is torturing for a purpose. She is dead set on loosing a tooth today. She thinks if she eats apples, oranges, corn on the cob or any food where there is considerable incisor action, she is one wiggly step closer to an extraction. And we all know what that means... a visit from the Tooth Fairy.

    For those of you not in the know, the Tooth Fairy is the adorable niece to the Grand Poobah of mythical creatures, Santa Claus. She is cousin to the ambiguous Sand Man, and cohort in parental racketeering with the Easter Bunny. The winged fairy brings gifts, usually cold hard cash to small children in America when they loose a tooth. A child will loose a tooth, but in most cases will have a tooth pulled, a truly bloody affair, and place the tooth under their pillow at which time the Tooth Fairy will leave the money in exchange for the tooth. The Tooth Fairy will possibly leave a note for the educationally pushy parent attempting to turn the exchange into a literary activity or a toothbrush to keep the truly obsessive compulsive parent on her good side.

    One would think that after a certain age, a kid would question whether or not these mythical creatures are real. In my nearly 14 years of parenting, I have not had any inquiry to be pressed very far. It appears that whenever there is money exchanged for a good, questions are usually not asked. Even by your own 12 year-old. Even when said 12 year-old pulled their own molar and relayed to the parent, myself, that if the Tooth Fairy wanted the super-sized tooth, a dollar would no longer cut it. The capitalistic 12 year-old wanted $2.00. Horrified, the parent, myself, said that was price gouging and the 12 year-old could just keep her tooth.

    Knowing the sentimental quality of a lost tooth for the parent, the 12 year-old pressed for further negotiations. "The Tooth Fairy can have the tooth for a dollar, but you have to promise that I don't have to unload the dishwasher for all of next week."

    The parent, myself, relented, realizing all this sounds vaguely like the "American Dream". Kids today, where do they get these ideas?
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