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  • My Granddad worked at a funeral directors.

    He is a shortish man, but with broad shoulders and a powerful chest. He was a paratrooper in the British Army. After he got out of the forces he started at the funeral directors, and that's where this collection of stories come from.

    At a funeral directors there is a chapel of rest where someone will live, a couple usually. Their job is to take care of those that that have passed away until they go to their final resting place. At Baum's (the funeral directors) there was a vacancy for a live in at the chapel, Mr. Baum put an advert in the paper asking for men and women with nursing experience.

    It surprised me that 4 people wanted the job, it seems a bit glum to me, but it's not my story.

    Mr. Baum set out on a Friday evening to interview the 4 prospective live-ins, the fourth of which I've only ever known as 'Mad Glad', a 40 something with jet black died hair, cast high above her head in the then popular beehive style. I never knew or met Mad Glad, but this is how I was introduced to her in this story;

    (Knock Knock)
    "Oh do come in Mr. Baum, would you like a drink?" Mad Glad inquired,
    "Oh...erm, well, go on then" replied Mr. Baum, somewhat taken back at the suggestion of alcohol during an interview. "And what do you prefer? Would you like whiskey Mr. Baum?"
    "Oooh well, seen as you ask yes I wouldn't mind".

    Mad Glad poured a generous amount of scotch, much more than a lady in her position could afford, and handed it to Mr. Baum. Grateful of the offering and owing to a long week Baum lapped it up like a work dog to water.

    "Would you like another Mr. Baum?"
    "Oh yes please". The glee emanating from his smile that stretched from ear to ear, "Now have you had any experience in Nursing?"
    "Oh yes I have Mr. Baum, would you like to see a photograph of when I was a nurse?" Without waiting for a response Mad Glad went and pulled out a photo that had been conveniently placed on the side board. There she was in her Nurses uniform all done up and proper.
    "Oh yes, very good Mad Glad, and are you married?"
    "Yes I am Mr. Baum and he'll live with me at the chapel" was the presumptuous reply.

    Well the alcohol had done its trick by this time hadn't it.

    "Very good, you've got the job."

    What a wonderfully simple story. However, on her first day Mad Glad, having a loose tongue, couldn't help her self. She told my granddad that the photo she showed Mr. Baum was from a fancy dress party the year before.

    What a character! More to come from Mad Glad - the things this lady did make me howl.
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