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  • In the hopes that gay marriage will be legalized soon, I have prepared this memorandum for my future husband before he meets his future Vietnamese in-laws.

    MEMORANDUM

    TO: My Future Husband

    FROM: Me

    RE: Booby Traps


    1. For your own safety, please don't ever say you admire Ho Chi Minh for his struggle against French colonialism and imperialism.

    2. Don't ask what's that stinky smell in the kitchen. It's just fish sauce.

    3. Remember criticism builds character.

    4. Don't tell them that you are planning to leave your career to pursue writing/dancing/acting.

    5. Eat what they serve you (being a vegetarian is no excuse). It's the only way they can say I love you.

    6. Don't expect praise or compliments. See Number 3.

    7. Don't expect hugs (you are not a toddler). See Number 5.

    8. Don't express (even if true) how similar Vietnamese culture is to Chinese culture.

    9. Avoid any discussion of American politics (yes, they voted for you know who.)

    10. And yes, it is indisputably true that Vietnamese people are descendants of a dragon and a faery princess.

    Everything will go swimmingly well if you follow my advice!

    Welcome to the family.
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