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  • This cloudy day took me by surprise.The light had been dancing in my heart for so long,but in the early hours of the morning, the past like an unwanted guest, came to knock on my door.I wanted to forget the sad memories but the memories never forgot me.
    I came to the computer to focus on Cowbird.The only place I can be just me.If I look around in the distance inside the avenues of the years gone, there are a million particles of Cecilia lost in some lost dimension of time.It will take me an eternity to put me together again,like a sad Humpty Dumpty, I am still broken in invisible fragments.
    Maybe I have to do what the Red Indians did. They have a ceremony called Soul Retrieval where they claimed every piece that was lost of your soul, by pain,by illness by a million reasons until the soul became became whole again.
    I have to do a Cecilia Retrieval to became myself .
    So many sleepless nights, covered with the rain of my tears,so many promises unfulfilled,so many knives deep in my heart by friendly hands with smiles on their faces.
    I became a magician and I exorcised what happened then, but those memories have a strange permanent quality and no matter what I do, they stay.
    Today the clouds are dense and when I breathe they come inside me fighting with the light that is in my soul.
    But after all I am a human being,my tears are always skin deep ready to flow like a black river of pain.
    Perhaps I made a mistake like Sarah in the Bible to look back when she was not allowed.I feel I am changing ,and in my wild imagination I am transforming into a sculpture of salt.
    We grow,we learn,we let go of the broken hearts covering our paths,but sometimes we have to touch the darkness to help us to appreciate the light.
    We have to accept the visit of the past even if it is an unwanted event, to compare with who we were and who we are today.
    Tomorrow the sun will shine again and the tears will dissolve in the dreams of tonight and a smile will decorate my face again.
    Today I need to cry, to clean my heart and soul of all the memories of pain.
    I like to write about beauty,light ,hopes and mostly love because those are the elements with which I was made.
    Today the script is different Forgive me my friends.
    I am talking to God now because even If I am always busy and I do not think enough about Him, He always has me inside his heart and always thinks of me.
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