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  • I have a challenge, I have been diagnosed with wet Macular Degeneration, that was activated when my cataract was removed last September. (I also have the start of glaucoma). I could see so well after the surgery, I was so full of amazement and joy that I could see like when I was a child. I could drive down the road and read the signs and actually see better without my glasses. Then I noticed a black spot in the middle of my eye and that my vision was foggy, which was only noticeable in semi dark. I had a doctor's appointment every week for a month and he said that this was common for about 70% of people and that it generally cleared up after 120 days and if it didn't, they could do lazer surgery to correct it. The fog mostly cleared up, but not the black spot. After a couple of months I noticed that vertical straight lines weren't very straight and then the horizontal ones got very wavy and circles were no longer round. It was like looking at a carnival mirror and things would wiggle in my peripheral vision.

    Tests were run, then I was sent to a specialist for the lazer surgery. He ran more tests and showed me the results and diagnosed me with the wet macular degeneration. The blood vessels were possibly leaking in the right eye but the left eye was still healthy. The right eye had a big red area in the middle of it that the left eye didn't have. He asked why I didn't come in sooner (he had gotten sick two weeks before and my appointment was cancelled and rescheduled, but I didn't say anything, it's in my record somewhere). He called a retinal specialist and he said to not do the surgery as it could stir more stuff up, so I was scheduled to see the retina specialist about 100 miles away, the following week and told to make sure I made it to the appointment.
  • A couple days before the appointment with the retina doctor, I asked my higher self for guidance and a dream for 'clarity'. One of the things that I do, is to open a book randomly and read what it says and I chose 'A Course in Miracles' and 'The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali'.

    'In joyous welcome is my hand outstretched to every brother who would join with me in reaching past temptations and who looked with fixed determination toward the light that shines beyond in perfect constancy…Not one illusion is accorded faith, and not one spot of darkness still remains to hide the face of Christ from anyone. Thy will is done, complete and perfectly, and all creation recognizes You and knows You as the only Source it has'. A Course in Miracles, Foundation For Inner Peace, page 622.
    'The cause of that avoidable pain is the union of the Seer (Purusha) and the seen (Prakriti, or Nature).' The comment by Sri Swanmi Satchidananda is 'The Purusha is the true Self. It is the Purusha who sees. The Prakriti is everything else. All other things besides you are the seen…This identification with other things is the cause of all our pain…Stay in your true Self. You are the knower. You know everything…When you mix yourself up with your possessions, pull yourself out of the mire and your feelings will change greatly. You'll be a different person', page 103. Book 2 Sutra17, The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, translation and commentary by Sri Swami Satchidananda.

    And the dream? I am in a room with several other people and one of my yoga students, runs, takes a dive, and slams on the wooden floor on their belly. I think, in the dream, I must help that student to treat their body more gently and carefully so they don't slam their body. Then I think about how I slam my body. In the next scene, I am studying for a test and it is very noisy so I go to another room. Perhaps the test is to treat my body with love and respect and the noise is my monkey mind.
    When I got up, I wrote over and over, on two pages of my art journal, 'I am perfect just the way I am'. I'm looking for that Miracle from the Seer.

    Tomorrow is the day and my daughter is on the way…..

    (I used to teach yoga and 'yogart', where I combined yoga and art in therapeutic settings).
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