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  • I'm out there
    sweeping
    shoveling
    rearranging moments
    going quiet like I do
    surrounded by white
    Snow from the heavens getting to know the earth

    Out....
    OUT there
    Out there, a dark winter world
    alone .... nothing is saved in the blinding past
    pushing back fear's road without feel
    senseless words passing gone stone hurt
    broken disappearing emptying our well built house like escaping heat
    right in front of my incense fights
    your going ...
    I'm going ..
    nothing saved but internal burning
    surrounded hurricane's blame


    It's comin on Hard without the next dream of us tugging life
    of myself vanishing in so many wounded ways
    chips tumbling off my frozen regret completely indifferent
    Face Down in the colding deepness
    on my knees as if it is the only thing I could do
    The wind pushing drifts, like time drowning me out with foreign lines
    even harder I pray It will make me stay here leaving
    so I might catch up on my own restless sleep
    smiling tearless marked together in a little forever
    like it was perfectly OK
    your going ahead

    Maybe the silence will ring true deep pain if I just stay inside that single breath
    I won't have to practice any more Damn Mindfulness
    Let the Ice freeze me
    do it's thing by letting go
    let myself join the great song completely asleep
    close my eyes and run beyond the changes
    then fly for a different truth
    sing a song to shake your heart
    Embrace this death place
    In a final good bye
    instead of YOU...

    Out
    Out
    Out there!

    Last night in the Deepening Storm covering us all
    I'm screaming my Fk UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU's
    as loud as I can in yesterday's arms
    knowing all my practice, Feelings, Power, Paths
    don't mean a thing without you to wake to
    as my Soul has so little left to say...

    Artic Screams growing colder
    NO Please!
    NO better choice!
    No Great Deal!
    NO!No! Noooooooooo!
    nothing IN the futures and definetly- NO- do-over's
    out of pretend's, losing hand.. less felt
    simply time's memory - less anything left to say
    all losses without Love of you
    out out out
    all lasting sighs darkening light
    tonight's wishes taking away could-a-beens

    Stillness
    Out THERE
    irresistibly too close

    h.
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