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  • So, here I sit this morning, flattened by symptoms that seem to be suspiciously like the flu.

    How I happened to be visited by this unwelcome guest is beyond me, too. I have been so fastidious about hand-washing any time that I've been out and about.

    Where it came from is completely irrelevant now . . . though I suspect one of the guests at that Christmas Dinner party may have been responsible.

    What has me most fascinated by this whole experience of being "sick" is that the symptoms don't seem to limit themselves to just physical nuisances.
    Sure, I've got the chills and the aches and the COUGH, but now my poor, addled brain has decided that this would be the perfect time to turn my world BLACK.

    If you have never experienced this phenomenon, count yourself among the fortunate.
    Imagine, if you will, feeling all degrees of anxiety, shame and guilt at once !

    One need look no further than the messy house that results from its owner being sick and living alone.

    But, not content to stop there, let's dredge up all of one's "perceived" personality flaws at the same time, shall we ? None of which have any basis in reality, mind you, but a fevered brain can sure make a pretty powerful case !

    I am a survivor of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. ( those words don't deserve to be capitalized, by the way ) And, as a survivor, my emotional "toolbox" is filled with hard-earned skills and strategies that help me cope with and master any of life's random triggers.
    The skewed biochemistry of a body under flu's siege blunts all of those "tools" and makes them virtually inaccessible !

    The only way to a measure of peace throughout this annoying ordeal is to just "sit" with the feelings. Not that I have much of a choice.

    The physical symptoms of the flu are well-documented and readily available online.
    I wish that more attention was paid to the mental health aspects of this pesky virus.

    Everything is connected . . . and we are nothing more complex than an ongoing series of chemical reactions at the cellular level.
    It stands to reason that if one's body is fighting the flu, with an immune system on overdrive, then every part of that organism will be out of whack for a while.

    But who knew that those long-buried "demons" relished a dance through fever's fires ?

    Back to bed . . . for another day . . .
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