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  • At my funeral, I want a full orchestra and choir performing Mozart's Requiem Mass.

    Up until a few weeks ago, I wanted my funeral to come as quickly as possible. Every step took monumental will power and physical effort. Blah blah blah, bleakness, hopelessness, and despair.

    One afternoon I was curled up crying, incomprehensibly, over something. Nothing. Petty dramas. In the middle of it, I paused. I said to myself, "Being sad sucks. This is dumb. I'm going to be happy." That's a direct quote. And so I was. And have been since then.

    It was a revelation: The world is damn beautiful. My life is damn great. So base, so simple, yet it took months to figure out.

    It takes the right circumstances, I think, to change one's state of mind.

    Before, I was ready to give up. Now, I can't have enough time to fill my lungs with sweet air, to listen to rain fall on the roof, to walk barefoot, to dream, to absorb the wisdom of the world, to live. Just live.

    The Mozart Requiem can wait.

    Music: Confutatis from Mozart's Requiem Mass in D minor (my favorite movement).
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