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  • Another Thanksgiving is looming on the horizon. While I do enjoy the food, as a holiday it’s the one day a year guaranteed to remind me what a stone cold “loser” I am in the this world. No high paying job or real career, no wife, no kids and a dwindling family of elders growing sick and decrepit right in front of my eyes. The fact that I look forward to the day simply because I’ll be able to bring back enough leftovers to feed me for a few days and save on some grocery money also attests to the shit level of week to week existence I live in, clawing at a collection of part time jobs and hustles wondering when the next shoe will drop and finally leave me stone cold broke with nowhere to turn. I should be grateful that my parents cancelled Christmas due to their unconventional religious beliefs many years ago, and I don’t feel the sting of that holiday, other than the fact that it’s a day where many stores are closed, so I always have to plan ahead, but I still get to deal with Thanksgiving and all of its splendor.

    The worse part of turkey day is not the long hours of cooking; I love that aspect. I can actually show off one of my skill-sets that I’ve fostered over the years. The worse part will be the conversation at the dinner table. Like every one of these holidays from the last decade or so, I’ll be surrounded by mostly Boomers with one foot in the grave who seem to live in an impenetrable bubble. I love to hear many of my friend’s complaints in this department because many of them are surrounded by a collection of crotchety Fox News watchers and have to listen to that recalcitrant, hate driven drivel, but I’m surrounded by leftist, ex-hippies who converted to Buddhism back in the late 1960s and early 1970s who are just as trapped in their own circular, echo chamber of a narrative and viewpoint of the world. Sitting on their pensions in paid off homes with fat 401Ks and Social Security checks coming in after working at stable jobs for several decades, they think they know it’s bad out there, but they’ll tell you it was bad out there when they were young, and they overcame it through their hard work and determination and a positive outlook that things can get better if you just try (and in the case of my family and their friends chant a repetitive mantra distilling all of Buddhism down to one line directed at magic piece of paper in an ornate box). I try to tell them that one doesn’t just decide it’s time to grow up, stop partying so much and walk into a steady square job with a livable middle class income like they did. They never hear that, or they don’t want to hear that. It’s hogwash. You obviously didn’t try hard enough or did something to make it harder on yourself. If only you were a true believer in the faith and just changed your negative attitude, the whole world would suddenly lie down at your feet and rain manna from heaven.

    I love these people; I really do, but it’s really hard not to punch them in the face sometimes. While they were busy working in the greatest level of middle class income earners ever in this country, the powers that be (that even they were and still are talking smack about) were busy dismantling the very structures of society that fostered an educated, professional middle class. Three and half decades of trickledown economics has really done a number on my generation and the ones that are following me, and my parents’ generation seems to want to believe that there is more than just the table scraps to fight over and the crumbs lying around for us to pick at. The more practical side of me hopes the status quo lasts long enough for these Boomers to make it out of this world before the whole shithouse comes crashing down, because I (and many people in my generation) sure as shit can’t come to their rescue. We’re too busy mired down in our own day to day survival. But, the evil piece of shit in my psyche wants it all to collapse tomorrow with a lethal market crash and the complete decimation of the financial and governmental systems . . . to stand on the mountain top watching everything burn with them still here to view it all just so I can turn to them and say, “Hey, if we just think happy thoughts and change our negative attitudes, I’m sure we can magically wish this all to go away.”
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