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  • As we all cry, bicker, cast blame and gloat at each other in the aftermath (and afterbirth) of this last electoral debacle, let’s all be realistic about what will most likely happen and not happen in the next four years of a Trump presidency with both houses of Congress in the red:

    1. The ACA (aka Obamacare) is done, immediately, maybe even right after he takes the oath of office and hasn’t even stepped off the podium. The same fuckers in Congress who wouldn’t move a muscle during the last eight years are going to rediscover their Protestant work ethic and work diligently, starting November 9th and through the break, to fast track legislation to end the experiment to expand Medicare/Medicaid to the poor while forcing anyone who could pay to enroll into an insurance plan whether they wanted to or not. For a few of my friends, this will be a welcome relief, and they will happily end their mandatory coverage and have a few more bucks for the important things in life like a new Harley or Jet Ski while praying one of their kids doesn’t get leukemia and the local hospital will end up owning their house a year and a dead kid later. On the up side, this should kill off some of those useless, impoverished sick people who are nothing but a drag to the system anyways, myself included, but I’m kind of a nihilist with a death-wish, so I’m okay with it. I will miss those free doctor’s office visits and heart meds.

    2. The most vicious velociraptor of a hanging judge who will make Antonin Scalia look like David Avocado Wolfe on a fistful of Prozac will be rushed into the Supreme Court almost as fast as the toppling of the ACA. Any hopes of at least one of the checks and balances in helping to maintain some semblance of a functioning republic is done for a generation.
    - Abortions for the poor will go back to the days of the coat-hanger while the rich will fly off to Canada for a quick “vacation” because Montreal is so lovely in the dead of winter.
    - LGBT rights will slide back to the stone ages.
    - Voting disenfranchisement is going back to the days of Jim Crow.
    - Flag burning will probably come with a death penalty.
    - Plus, anything that enhances or enriches corporations and wealthy oligarchs will continue to get preferential legal treatment, but that was going to happen regardless of which side won. What’s the use of having money if it doesn’t come with power?

    3. We’re still going to be bombing people all over the planet. That’s not going to stop at all. The last guy that tried to put a collar on the military-industrial complex and the intelligence services was the last POTUS to drive in a convertible Presidential limo. “Dallas loves you, Mr. President.”
    - Will Trump and Putin being buddies cease hostilities in Ukraine and cause some coordinated effort in Syria? That remains to be seen but probably not.

    And here’s what’s not gonna’ happen:

    4. That sea to shining sea wall built on similar specs to Israel’s border wall in the West Bank and Gaza, except nearly 2,000 miles longer, yeah, that ain’t gonna happen. That is a trillion to two trillion dollar plus project on the scale of the Great Wall of China. Let’s just say it’s not in the budgie right now, and the Mexicans are master tunnel builders that make it a moot point. As long as all of the fun drugs remain illegal and the country hasn’t turned completely into one continuous Detroit separated by patches of Bangladesh, illegal immigration will continue.

    5. And speaking of illegals, primarily Mexicans, good luck rounding up, housing and deporting 12 million people dispersed among 330 million people and mixed into 55 million Hispanic Americans. You would probably have to use the entire US Armed forces for that kind of round up, and they are presently occupied around the globe. Joe Arpaio is out of a job now; maybe you can get him to turn all of Arizona into a one large concentration camp. That should be cheap and easy to do, right?
    - Although, Trump probably will be able to block the entry of the Syrian refugees who we helped to create and are continuing in the process of the three card monty game of guns, oil and money.

    6. His promised tariffs on imported goods produced via outsourcing to help bring back American jobs . . . have another line of blow Captain Comb Over. The Walton family will have him shot faster than the Texas oil men behind JFK’s public execution. And the American public will shit blood if Walmart’s prices tripled overnight, not to mention the slew of economic ramifications that would come down the pipe from China or even the Congress backing his play. There’s too much grease on the political wheels for this to happen. Those jobs are gone for good until they can get robots to do them.
    - Also, if Obama doesn't get the TPP done before he splits, The Donald will probably do a 180 on that promise and pass the fucker with a trumpet blast of fanfare from both sides of the aisles.

    The rest of his Tourette’s like brain farts in threats and promises to gain votes will probably fall by the wayside as he suddenly discovers that for the first time in his life he’s in a tough fucking job that ages dudes by orders of magnitude, and he’s already pushing 70. Good luck to the gold plated grandpa; he gets to slum it with the proles for the next four years and actually do a job he doesn’t have total control over. May it be his worst nightmare to go with many of our own.
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