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  • He should have just said that it was a deer that made him lose control of his Beetle that night. Instead, he said that it was a hippo. His defense lawyer claimed this could be plausible although probably unlikely due to the fact that the accident took place in January somewhere in Wisconsin, an environment not at all suited to the hippo. The judge threw that story out like it was yesterday’s trash. There was, however, potential evidence that gave his location prior to the accident as at The Pour House, where he evidently had spent the day watching the Packers play the Vikings in a playoff bid and drinking many, many cans of Schlitz beer. They were on special that day. But those who first made these claims decided at the 11th hour not to turn state’s evidence and in doing so, remained anonymous (although the judge knew them personally) which deemed the said evidence as “tainted” or “tampered with”. So he was let go on a $100 bond (which Bunny reluctantly paid) and was free to pick up his car in Lot D at the impound. Ironically, there was only one lot so the D was deceptive. His red Beetle was surprisingly drivable but the non ungulated dent to the front driver’s fender was like no other dent anyone had ever seen before or has ever seen since. He got in, turned on the new oldies station which was playing “Hey Good Lookin’”, and headed home on Highway 29 under a billion lost stars, passing the exact scene of the crime, barely noticing his own frozen tire marks. He was still unsettled that the Packers had lost in sudden death.
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