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  • Mitte: I knew at some point we would run into each other, i hoped, i dreaded, that moment, and when it came, it was awkward, at the Vietnamese restaurant, Monsier Vuong, sitting outside, it was you, who approached me, and we were both so nervous, i hadn't seen you for more than a year, i wish i could say that you no longer matter, that i stopped thinking about you, and that i could gaze at you with indifference, but here you are, and i am that puppy, wagging its tail, again, i try to hide my enthusiasm, and greet you coolly, hello philipp, it's been a long time, these words are such nonsense, useless drivel, what i want to tell you i cannot say, i think of that night in Friedrichshain when your showed me your soft belly, and i could see the sad little boy inside of you, in that orphanage, locked in that closet, with the odor of urine, your pants wet, soaking, such a different impression you make now, with your dark sunglasses, and your muscled physique, but i know you, i know all of you, as you know me, so well, and so here we are again, i long to tell you so many things, how i cried every day, how your absence is physical, in my throat, in my chest, a knot, i would like to tell you all this but, of course, i don't, i tell you instead that i have been enjoying my stay in Berlin, swimming in the Teufelssee, hiking in Grunewald, and my excursion to Munich, ah yeah, the alpine peaks of Garmisch, and you?--how have you been, you too, share nothing but words, the weather, a trip to Israel where you swam in the Dead Sea, how lovely, i exclaim, and then there is this silence in which there is nothing left for us to say, and you nod, and politely offer that we should get together for coffee, one of these days, i nod in agreement, we hug each other good-bye, forgetting myself, i nearly nuzzle your neck (old habits!), i watch you walk away, goodness, why are you so fuckin' beautiful!, i wish it wasn't true, but, yes, i still do, i still miss you.
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