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  • The Long Beach Lesbian and Gay Pride Festival and Parade (or more simply: Long Beach Pride) is one of the largest pride events in the state. Over the years it has grown huge in size while the obligatory anti-gay religious protesters did not. They have dwindled down to where there is now only a handful of bullhorn armed and damnation sign holding people standing behind barricades in a small enclosure all their own, the protester pen.

    I was walking past them, when one pulled out his bullhorn and started “speechifying.” He yelled out at us all, telling the crowd and random passersby that we had not been born perverts, but rather that our masturbation had gotten out hand which made us into perverts (all the while managing to avoid making any “out of hand” jokes).

    I stopped and stared as he kept going on and on and on about masturbation, with a “what the heck?” expression plastered on my face, then decided that trying to understand his train of thought was not going to be worth the effort. Walking again, I left the area to meet up with friends; gay and straight, young and older, to watch the parade. As I left, he switched tactics, using his bullhorn once again, yelling at some nearby (large and muscular) men, calling them girls.

    Girl, somehow being the worst insult to call a man.
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