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  • Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
    (Albert Einstein)

    My 2-years-old daughter goes to an in-home daycare, with a loving family that I know takes good care of her. Still, sometimes when I take her there in the morning, I feel a certain pain in my chest. The pain is harder when it is the husband that receives me at their house, instead of his wife. He loves my daughter and she adores him too. She goes to him and he picks a book to read, or a toy to play, or any number of interesting and exciting things that I mull over in my head.

    Some days I feel like crying when I go back to the car and go work.

    Part of me wants to stop, put her back in the car, and go to the park. Play with her myself, talk to her the whole day in Portuguese (my native language) and teach her all the things my mom taught me.
    You see, my mom did exactly this. She quit working to take care of my brother and I. She would take us to school. She would be always thinking about interesting things to entertain us with. When she didn't know how to build a kite, that didn't stop her from teaching us how you could still improvise one with a string + a newspaper. Part of me wants to be like my mom, forget about the rat race for a few years and focus on the most precious things to me: my two daughters.

    Yet there is another part of me, the one that knows that I would probably get tired and frustrated after a while if I didn't work, if I didn't have a challenging job that pushes me forward professionally. This same part also knows that work is what makes it possible to pay for the rent, to pay for the clothes, to pay for all the things we have that allow us to live a confortable life.

    So I try to get work done on time, to be able to enjoy my daughters in the late afternoon and evening. To play with them. To tell (and show) how much I love them. To have fun with them.

    But it is a constant battle, and I have to remind myself everyday about what is truly important in life.
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