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  • A funeral. A busy funeral. The funeral of a lady by the name of Gail. I met her only twice, but whom left a lasting impression.
    The crematorium is packed with people, some lost in thought, some crying, some smiling and laughing as they meet friends infrequently seen and some hold hushed conversations in corners so as not to appear disrespectful.
    I am here to support my husband who knew Gail for many years; I am also here to support friends, specifically Alice who is truly heartbroken at the loss of a dear friend and Glen who held Gail very close and one who is affected by such events for a long time.
    The day holds a chill in the air but the sun is shining, appropriately people are saying, she had a sunny disposition you see. Or did she? The funeral is sad, but it is tinged with confusion, guilt, and anger. You see Gail took her own life, a 36 year old beautiful woman with a husband who adored her and whom she adored, 2 beautiful daughters and an eclectic collection of animals, mostly rescued. So why? Why would this women, who seemingly had everything to live for and who lived a life many would envy, take her own life? These questions are where we find the feelings we felt at the crematorium that day, confusion, anger, guilt. The answers still elude us.
    I have been here before, my friend Benny did the same thing, got so desperate he felt there was no alternative but to end it, the pain was so great.
    As I watch my friends today, struggle with their feelings it brings fresh tears to my eyes for Benny. I cry too for Gail, her family, her daughters. The harsh reminder that life can be tough, challenging and cruel. I know both Gail and Benny were ill, and all rational thought will not bring an acceptable explanation to the outcome, yet we still try.
    I have a new feeling today, fear, that friends I know, still with us, struggle with daemons both Benny and Gail fought and lost. Friends who struggle day by day to "survive" life. I know I cannot fix them or make it easier with words or wisdom, but just to reach out and let them know they are not alone in this world and that they are loved, let them know this as often as I can.
    Gail’s husband Kevin stood and addressed the crowd of people there to say goodbye to his beautiful wife and to support him in this desperate time. He stood proud and brave and told of the person his wife was, how she loved people, family, animals and a good party, how she would be annoyed she was missing this one. He also said “The light that burns brightest burns shortest”. Rest in peace Gail, I pray you find your solace.
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