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  • Under my pillow wrapped around the baby tooth I had a letter addressed to the Tooth Fairy asking her what she looked like.
    The Fairy took my letter and left a reply wrapped around a one dollar bill.

    First the note explained the unpronounceable name of the Tooth Fairy's kingdom (I remember it had a lot of J's and Slavic style accent marks-clearly a foreign land. Then it went on to say that the Tooth Fairy himself looked just like my Dad, except he was the size of my thumb and used a jet pack to get around.

    Neat, but not the pretty lady image I was hoping. Nuh-uh!

    Today I decided to conjure Satan up- y'know, just for the hell of it.
    And you know what?
    He looks just like my Dad! Sweaty, bearing wands of twig and a twenty-year-old undershirt.

    Neat, but not the evil freaky guy I was hoping for.
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