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  • This morning I sliced another chunk of flesh off my right thumb. I was cutting bread, and trying to cut it straight. If I don't concentrate when I do this I end up with triangular slices that don't fit in the toaster.

    I'm left-handed. The bread knife is right-handed.

    They say we lefties are more likely, statistically, than our right-handed counterparts to become alcoholics. Or to be a MENSA-accredited genius, become president, or work for Apple.

    They also say, on average, that we die nine years earlier than our right-handed counterparts.

    I'll bet 50% of those deaths are bread knife related.
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